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Alright. So it's probably no secret that I haven't been very active here over the past few years. In fact, I've been completely absent from dA over the past several months. Graduate school is a full time job. I spent the last year and a half planning a wedding...and then getting married! And, I spent the summer competing Nelson. 

So, for those of you I've been friends with on here and who still follow this account, I think my absence can be best explained by the fact that I've been having to adult really hard these past few years and make lots of adult decisions:

:bulletpink: I earned my MS last fall and am in my fourth year of graduate school with a full client-caseload.
:bulletpink: I'm working on my preliminary exam: a meta-analysis
:bulletpink: I'll be applying for internship next fall and need to decide on a career trajectory.
:bulletpink: I got married.
:bulletpink: I have a husband who is in his second year of law school.
:bulletpink: I have chronic back/shoulder pain and finally went to the doctor and will start physical therapy soon.
:bulletpink: I canceled my cable service.
:bulletpink: I bought Nelson in August 2016.
:bulletpink: I sold Finesse this past June.
:bulletpink: I won a USEA event this summer with Nelson and qualified for championships.
:bulletpink: We went to championships, and that's when I realized I couldn't ignore my pain any longer.
:bulletpink: I'm training to run my first ever long-format event with Nelson in two weeks.
:bulletpink: Nelson and I ran our first Novice USEA event in August.

This past year has been particularly busy, and except for the chronic pain, it's been amazing! Selling Finesse was probably the most difficult decision I've had to make recently, but it's also been the most liberating. We just couldn't support two horses on my graduate student stipend, and she wanted to be a fancy hunter anyway. 

I hope you all are doing well and living and loving life :heart:
  • Listening to: "Thunder" - Imagine Dragons
  • Reading: A Man Called Ove - Fredrik Backman
Not exactly. I've come to be quite happy with who I am and where I'm headed in life. So for the first time in many years, my resolutions are not so much about change as they are about continued self-discovery and growth. And although I am primarily committed to my academics, research, and career growth, the identity of equestrian remains central to how I identify as a person. Academics come first. And so in the remaining time in which I can choose to ride, sleep, rest, eat, read, or watch movies, I will always ride. Over the past year I have come to realize what my goals are in equestrian competition, and they are different than what they once were. Yes, I am still competitive and crave that perfect round, coveting that blue ribbon. But that's just fuel. There is greatness in everyone, and what I am striving for is my own type of greatness. That clear round, the thrill of flying, the feel of my mare giving 110% because we are finally a team. So it's that connection I'm truly hungry for. Without connection, blue ribbons and meaningful rides don't happen. My goal in my growth as an equestrian and a person: make every ride count. 

Because when every ride counts, when all sound goes silent, when we fly, when it's all left in the arena, I find my personal infinity.

Happy New Year everyone! :dance:
  • Listening to: "Grown Ocean" - Fleet Foxes
  • Reading: Looking for Alaska - John Green
Two weeks ago Tom and I were finally able to go on a ride together in the hay fields. I took Finesse and he rode Dandee, one of my trainer's lesson horses. Tom and Dandee got on fabulously, and it was wonderful to get Tom in the saddle and share with him what I love most. We chose to go out around sunset. As we reached the top of one of the hills, Tom pulled out a ring and proposed! :love: I was stunned--but not so stunned that I could say yes!

He couldn't have planned it better. Tom has known me since I was a horse-crazy 13 year-old, so he's always known that horses and I are a package deal. It fills me with such warmth and makes me feel so blessed to know that he's embraced that part of my life so completely. He's been nothing but supportive since I bought Finesse...and he doesn't look so bad in the saddle himself ;) 

He and I are both thrilled to be taking this next step forward in our lives together. I'm excited to start planning the wedding and am looking forward to enjoying this part of the journey :heart:
  • Listening to: "Love Someone" - Jason Mraz
  • Reading: Mistborn - Brandon Sanderson
Somehow it's February. Somehow I'm already a month into my second semester of graduate school. I have no idea how that happened. My first semester and the holidays absolutely flew by.

There's probably not much point in updating because I primarily lurk now, but I still enjoy the art that shows up in my inbox every day. I still sketch occasionally, but nothing complete enough to post. 

Finesse is doing very well and we're growing a lot together. We had our first adventure at a show last September. It started with her throwing a fit in the schooling ring and ended with us winning our last class of the day. Now that I've owned her for several months, I realize how sassy and opinionated she is. And I love it. She's challenging me to be a more confident and assertive rider. But I'm learning to trust her too. She's very reactive and sensitive to her environment and spooks easily. I'm learning to ride through it. She throws bucking fits occasionally. I'm learning to "yee-haw" it and push her forward and out of it. Although it can be frustrating sometimes, she's teaching me to not be so afraid of getting hurt--because, with horses, that fear is what gets you hurt. She's teaching me to believe in myself and commit to decisions--because if I don't, she's going to make a decision for me. And she's teaching me to be quiet, calm, and patient--because if I tense up, she's too overwhelmed. I love her for all these things.

And more news on the animal front: Tom adopted a greyhound last month. His name is Piper. He's a 1/ 1/2 year old light fawn color. Piper never raced, though the adoption organization did rescue him from the track. From what I can see over Skype, he's quite the goofy personality. He LOVES jumping onto the first step of Tom's parent's pool. He's very vocal and communicates with whines and "rooing." He's a super snuggly fella, and loves to give kisses. I can't wait to meet him next month when I'm home for spring break. 

I hope everyone is well and happy :heart:
  • Listening to: Cary Brothers
  • Reading: The Name of the Wind
I'm about 2 weeks into my graduate program here at Washington State University, and I love it. My classes are great. My professors are amazing. And my cohort is beyond amazing! Everyone has told me how important a friendly and supportive cohort is, so I'm thrilled we all get along so well. I'm also excited to be studying and doing research again. Although, it is a bit of an adjustment going back to student life after taking the last couple of years off. But I feel like my life has more direction now, and it's helping me feel more settled.

Finesse is doing very well and enjoying the 10 hours of turnout she gets every day. I finally broke down and started her on SmartPak: Cosequin (joints), Farrier's Formula (hoof), and a B1 supplement for her skittishness and focus issues. She's amazingly calm in the barn or at the end of a lead rope, but once the saddle and bridle go on, she gets hyper-aware of everything going on around her and in the distance. She gets distracted very easily by things that might be scary, and that can make it hard for us to work on what we need to work on. I love her spunk and sass, so I'm hoping the B1 just helps take the edge off a little so she can focus on me without being so worried about the tractor on the hill across the road. Despite her little case of equine ADHD, we're making great progress building our partnership. We're entered for our first show on September 28. I'm so eager to get back into the show ring--it's been 6 1/2 years! 

Tom is visiting in a couple weeks too for my birthday and the WSU vs. Oregon football game. It's been almost 2 months since I've seen him. Distance has been tough, but we've been able to Skype every day, which has been a tremendous help. He's excited to meet my friends here and see Finesse again. It will be nice to finally introduce him to this new busy life of mine. 

Long story short, things are going well. I'm ready for a busy semester, but I'm determined to make it great!
  • Listening to: The Fratellis
  • Reading: Redwall
She's here!!! :dance: Finesse arrived safe and sound this morning. We shipped her with the transport company Equine Express. They've moved horses for us before, and they're wonderful with the horses. The driver told me that Finesse travelled very well, drank plenty of water and munched at her hay happily. She got doses of Probios, a probiotic paste that aids in digestion when a horse is under stress, such as lengthy travel. She seemed very calm when I saw her, and she immediately knew me and wrapped her neck around me when I hugged her. Of course, the first thing she did when we unloaded her from the rig was drop her head to eat grass. So, I don't think the move stressed her too much.

I walked her up the road to the barn and turned her out in the indoor arena for a few minutes to let her stretch and roll if she wanted. Then I let her settled in her stall while I got her feed bin set up and rationed her feed for the week. She gets a half portion tonight before going back to her regular portion tomorrow morning. I love the stalls here. They all have small runs attached to the back, so there's space outside to stretch out, walk around, and socialize over the fence. She's next to a little paint mare named Sassy. The automatic waterer was an adventure though. The first time Finesse took a drink and the pump kicked in, she freaked out, but settled back down pretty quickly. She's a little spooky by nature, so I wasn't concerned. 

She also got a nice grooming. It's been a few days, so she really needed it. I have a bubble bath planned for her for the weekend. Now, I'm home and she's settling in. We'll have a light hack tomorrow morning to stretch out and explore the indoor and outdoor rings, and then get back to work this weekend. I'm targeting mid-October for our first show, so that's a short-term goal I'm working toward with her now.

It is amazing to have my sweet girl here with me. It's a dream come true, and I feel like my whole life is coming together now. Classes start on August 25th, so I have a couple of weeks to just relax and play with Finesse :heart:
  • Listening to: "Quadrophenia" - The Who
  • Reading: The Circle - Dave Eggars
Where to start...

Change is hard. "See you later" is hard. It's a good kind of hard, but that doesn't mean I'm good at it. 

This week has been a whirlwind. Tom and I left Dallas last Friday on the three day road trip up to Washington. It went pretty smoothly except for my exhaustion and anxiety catching up to me, resulting in a nasty episode of carsickness on the first day. We stopped a couple hours short of Denver (our intended target for the day), and I slept for about 12 hours. I was good to go the next day. Colorado was beautiful; we even took a detour by Mile High Stadium to take a picture for Tom's mom. Montana was incredible too once we got into the mountains, thought it was certainly a relief when we got to the rolling fields of Washington. That is not a drive I'm in a hurry to make again. 

The movers came two days late, so we did what we could with the things I brought in my car on Monday. Tuesday, Tom and I checked out a couple of the local wineries. Washington has a fantastic selection of wineries and wine. Both of us are eager to take a trip to Washington wine country. The movers finally came Wednesday afternoon, and unloading/unpacking didn't take as long as I had thought. The organizing is what's taking a while, just finding convenient and appropriate places for everything. I've finally gotten my books and Breyers mostly sorted, though I anticipate some shuffling. 

I couldn't have done this move without the help of my parents, aunt, and uncle. My uncle got every picture and mirror hung as soon as it was unpacked. My mom and aunt put the kitchen in order, and Tom and my dad got all the furniture and the elliptical assembled in no time. They all left Thursday morning, which gave Tom and I a few days together to explore and relax. We went to the barn yesterday to drop off my trunk and tack. Now, I'm counting down to the 30th, when Finesse is supposed to ship up here. I cannot wait to see my baby girl!

Tom left this morning, and more than ever I wish Finesse was already up here. Tom and I have seen each other almost every day since we started dating last June. It's weird, now, knowing I won't see him until September. Hopefully this first semester will be the only one we spend half-way across the country from each other. He's eyeing Seattle, Spokane, or Pullman for new job opportunities. I'm so grateful that he's not only willing to move, but excited about moving to Washington. It's certainly a grand adventure we've set ourselves on!

So, I guess the takeaway is that things have gone well. The move went about as smoothly as I could hope for. I'm happy and excited to be up here, but the next week or so is definitely going to be an adjustment period. Orientation isn't until August 16th, but I've got plenty to keep me busy until then. And that's definitely a good thing.
  • Listening to: "Change" - White Lies
  • Reading: The Age of Innocence - Edith Wharton
I've just gotten home from a busy week up in Washington. My mom and I went up to get the townhouse cleaned and ready for my move up there next month. It looks great, and I'm excited to finally get up there and get settled in. In my mind, I can see how everything is going to be organized, so I'm itching to get started!

We also visited the barn I'll be moving Finesse to when she gets up there. And it is gorgeous! All the horses have 12'x12' stalls with a small outdoor run. The indoor and outdoor arenas are huge. But, best of all, there are acres upon acres of rolling hills and trails to gallop and explore. Finesse is a little jumpy sometimes out of the arena, so I'm hoping to get her up there in a group this summer and get her acclimated to being in big open areas because I'm looking forward to some good conditioning gallops up there.

So now I'm home and back to packing, organizing, cleaning, finishing my last couple weeks at work, arranging farrier and vet visits, and researching horse feed. Lots to do, and time seems to move faster every day!

Hope you all are doing well! :heart:
  • Listening to: "Fallen Empires" - Snow Patrol
  • Reading: The Once and Future King - T. H. White
It didn't take long to find my new baby girl, NTEC Finesse! silverflamewanderer.deviantart…

Here's a video of her jumping:…

She's such a sweet mare with fantastic jumping ability. She has such a great forward stride and is super smooth. She feels like a spring when she jumps :D I feel incredibly blessed to have found such a great horse :heart:
  • Listening to: "Ghost Stories" - Coldplay
  • Reading: Mirror Sight - Kristen Britain
  • Watching: NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs
It's been five years since I've owned a horse, and I've felt that absence, like a part of me isn't quite whole. Initially, I had planned to start looking for a horse after my first semester of grad school so that I could get comfortable with my schedule. But I can't wait that long. I know what I can spend and set my budget. The trainer I've been riding for this past year knows what I'm looking for, and I trust him to help me find the right match. 

When I sold Azteca, I had hoped to buy him back when I was ready to own a horse again. I went through an actual mourning period after selling him, and I think I've finally come out of that this past year. I've ridden dozens of different horses and don't feel the loss of Azteca as much as I miss the loss of the partnership. To me, this signifies that I'm ready to own again. I'm in a financially secure situation, have a plan that will ensure financial stability, and will be in one place for the next five years. I'll always be able to come up with excuses--it's a lot of money...I have to move for my internship...I'm getting married...I'm going to have kids...--But I can't listen to that anymore. Waiting until the "opportune time" will be a waste of time. However many years I wait, those years will pass anyway, and I'd rather they pass with an equine companion.

I need this. I need the horse, the competition, the partnership. This is a big decision, and it's the right decision. It's time to bring another horse into my life :heart: 
  • Listening to: "Waltz" - The Naked and Famous
  • Reading: An Anthropologist on Mars - Oliver Sacks
  • Watching: NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs
Today marks the end of the NHL regular season. Wednesday, the playoffs begin. The Pittsburgh Penguins will play the Columbus Blue Jackets, and the Dallas Stars will play the Anaheim Ducks. The Penguins are getting healthy, they are developing chemistry, and they're ready to rock. The Stars...Oh my, the Stars. This is their first playoff appearance since 2008. They clinched the 8th seed in the Western Conference on Friday. And I was there. It was wild! American Airlines Center was deafening during the last few minutes as Kari Lehtonen posted a 3-0 shutout and Seguin and Benn dazzled as they've done all season. It was incredible to be there, to share that moment with the team and the city of Dallas. And, we're going to game 4 of the first round in Dallas next week. I am beyond jazzed! Not only is this my first playoff game, but I'll witness the legend that is Teemu Selanne before he hangs up his jersey at the end of the season. 

It's the playoffs. It's intense. It's brutal. It's energizing. It's heartbreaking. It's uplifting. It's everything you hope for in sports and more. And this year, I have two teams with which my sports fan heart will ride or die with. Two teams to cheer for every night, two teams to cry for, two teams to love. Because this is the greatest tournament in sports. Because it's hockey. Because it's the Cup.
  • Listening to: "Rebel Beat" - Goo Goo Dolls
  • Reading: The Rings of Elpida - Dylan Huntington
I've found fantastic place in Washington, and have a planned moving date. The next few months are going to be hectic as I finish up at my current job and organize my things to sell, donate, and pack. I've started going through the bins in my closet, consolidating old artwork and tossing super old sketchbooks that are collecting dust. I finally took down all of my ribbons and awards from years of showing, packing them away into two bins. Most of my books and DVDs are already packed into boxes. And it's really strange.

When I moved to Colgate, I left whatever I didn't need at home. I didn't really bother to clean out my closet or bedroom. I didn't need to take everything with me--I even mailed unneeded items home. This time, I'm leaving very little at my parents' house. Everything is being packed up into boxes. What doesn't fit in my car will be loaded onto a moving truck. My life is being condensed into boxes and bins that will be shipped half-way across the country. And, I want to take with me as little clutter as possible. I thought I would feel sad letting go of so much of my past, but I don't. I feel lighter and freer. I can start new life with new ambitions, artwork, and collections. Sometimes it's easier to hold on to everything, but when the bins are stuffed and all of the shelves full, there's no room for anything new. And that's what this move is really all about. This adventure to Washington is the next step in my academic and professional career. I can't carry the clutter any longer. Realizing this, I feel nothing but hope for the future.
  • Listening to: "This Blue World" - Elbow
  • Reading: Blood Meridian - Cormac McCarthy
The past few months, and especially January and February, have been extremely busy. I was invited to interview at three clinical psychology doctoral programs: the University of Georgia, the University of North Texas, and Washington State University. Three interviews, three states, three weekends in a row. It was crazy. And it didn't help that I got sick between my UNT and WSU interviews. But, last Saturday, I made it home from a fantastic couple of days at WSU and felt such great relief. The interviews were over. The waiting game had begun.

I absolutely fell in love with WSU--the program, Dr. David Marcus, and the town. In many ways, it reminded me of Colgate. The university and town of Pullman are larger, but it's still a small town surrounded by farmland and over an hour from the nearest airport. All of this just added to the appeal. And then you consider the doctoral program, extremely competitive, intellectual, and productive. The opportunities for research, publications, and clinical training are exemplary. The faculty are fun, social, and energetic. The students are warm, welcoming, and bright. It was the perfect fit. 

This afternoon I received a call from Dr. Marcus, extending an invitation of admission. Even though I was put on the alternate lists at UGA and UNT, I knew that my decision would be the same if I received an offer from either of those places. WSU was where I wanted to be. More than that, it's where I knew I was supposed to be. I accepted the offer immediately. Nearly two years after graduating from Colgate, after working as a teaching assistant and research assistant, after two rounds of graduate school applications, I know where my future is headed. I am extremely excited to start moving forward with my education and career. 
  • Listening to: Burn - Ellie Goulding
  • Reading: Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell
In a place where...
:bulletblue: My senior honors thesis has just been submitted to a journal for consideration for publication
:bulletblue: My graduate school applications are all completed and submitted
:bulletblue: There is time for reading, art, writing, and contemplation
:bulletblue: The holidays are just around the corner
:bulletblue: The Penguins blanked the Capitals 4-0 last night in a thrilling takeover of D.C.

It's a good place to be, and the soundtrack is fantastic.

:bulletpurple: "You Are Here - EP" by Magic Man:
    Every Day
    Nova Scotia
This guy is gaining in popularity, and I'm really hoping for a full-length album release in the next year or so. 

:bulletpurple: "Midnight in the Garden" by Lily Kershaw
    Marlboro Man
    Bathed in Blue
    Good Girl
    Promised Land
Her voice is clear and classic, reminiscent of Joni Mitchell and Tori Amos, but deep and emotive with the resonance of Lana Del Ray or Ellie Goulding. There's a lot of heart and soul in her music.

:bulletpurple: "The Bones of What You Believe" - CHVRCHES
    The Mother We Share
    You Caught the Light
This album took a nighttime highway drive for me to really appreciate it, but I've been inspired by it ever since. The vocals are beautiful, the music is creative, and "You Caught the Light" reflects some of the instrumental sections from Pink Floyd's "A Momentary Lapse of Reason."

I hope y'all are doing well and excited about the approaching holidays! My mom and I are getting out the Christmas decorations later this afternoon, so it's about to start looking like a winter wonderland in our house! I absolutely love this time of year. All of the twinkly lights and chiming bells certainly speak to my poetic, romantic personality. I always feel incredibly thankful for all of the blessings in my life this time of year...and now I realize Thanksgiving is the perfect kick off to the holidays. That sense of being grateful for life, love, and joy carries over into Christmas and the new year. It should always carry over, even in difficulty, because there's always light, laughter, and beautiful music.

Much love to you all :heart:
  • Listening to: Texas - Magic Man
  • Reading: Chainfire - Terry Goodkind
The past couple of months have been hectic. I've been busy with work, revising my senior thesis for publication, and grad school applications. Things will settle down at the end of the month since all of my applications are due December 1. I'm really hoping to get back into the art groove over the holiday season. I  haven't had the drive or inspiration the last several months, and real life has kind of taken over. But, I miss drawing. I miss fiddling with the sketches and squabbling with myself over the color palette and whether I should use pencils or pastels. And, I really miss those pastels. So, hopefully the approaching holidays will bring me some inspiration.

The Penguins are 10-4-0, and leading their division. :penguin:

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying life. Miss you all! :heart:
  • Listening to: Marlboro Man - Lily Kershaw
  • Reading: Chainfire - Terry Goodkind
It's been a while since I've posted an update about one of the more personal aspects of my life, one which has long inspired the characters that appear in my art. I won't devote much space to this, and perhaps it's not all that important since I haven't been drawing. Basically, the inspiration for Khelek is no longer in my life. We broke things off in January, and haven't talked since mid-June. I won't go into detail, but it was a thing simply done.

When I came home in June, I was contacted by a guy I knew way back in 8th grade. We had stayed in touch off and on through high school and college, and had even seen each other a few times. When he invited me to lunch, I didn't expect anything to come of it--no more than friendship at least. We've been dating for almost three months. Shows how much I know. Tom and I just clicked, and continue to click. All of this really surprised me, but it's honestly the best thing I've been a part of, and I feel really happy and content :) Will I develop a character based on him? I don't know. I have half a mind to for continuity's sake, but we'll see.

In other news, Penguins training camp starts today. The season starts on October 1. Tom and I are going to Pittsburgh in March for a game against the Flyers. I'm beyond excited for that! The Pens will also be in Dallas in January to play the Stars. You can bet we'll be there.

Love you all :heart:
  • Listening to: The Head and The Heart
  • Reading: A Novel Bookstore
I hope everyone is enjoying their summer, and that it's not too terribly hot where you are! I'm currently sweating it out in Texas, though I did get a wonderful reprieve last week up in Wyoming.

My life is extremely busy and full right now, but I'm enjoying every minute of it. Not long after I moved back home, I got a job at the University of Texas at Dallas working in one of the psychology labs on a project examining aggressive behavior in adolescents. It's a really fun project and I've found a great mentor in the woman I'm working for. She's been helping me edit my senior thesis and is guiding me through this next round of graduate school applications. Related to that, I'm prepping for the psychology GRE, and it really feels good to be studying again!

I've also gotten hooked on George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire saga. Even though nearly everyone I know watches the show, I've yet to watch a single episode. And the books are the reason. I bought them last summer, intending to read them before I let myself get into the show. Well, I'm now about a quarter of the way through the third book, and plan to start watching the series soon. Honestly, these are some of the best books I've read, and I'm not limiting that claim to books of the fantasy genre. Martin has an incredible grasp of language and is a wonderfully subtle writer, letting the reader puzzle out schemes and plots until it's absolutely necessary that he tell you. His style also changes slightly depending on who the POV character of the chapter is. His plots are very well-constructed and planned, as are his characters. But, you really feel like you can't trust anyone, which just adds to the intrigue.

So, basically, I've been working, reading, and riding--and enjoying every minute! I'm optimistic about where I'm heading. I just have to be patient while I'm on that journey.
  • Listening to: "You're Golden" - The Polyphonic Sp
  • Reading: A Storm of Swords - George R. R. Martin
  • Watching: Sherlock
But time passes by so quickly these days...

I'm back home in Texas now, for the foreseeable future. I've been searching, and continue to search, for jobs in psychological research. I was not accepted into graduate school for the fall, so it's time to get more research experience and reapply in the next year or two. I know my time will come, but waiting is difficult and frustrating. I am so ready to get out there, move somewhere new, and get started on the next phase of my life. Right now, it feels like my life is hanging in suspension while I wait for the next door to open. And, believe me, I'm knocking on them all. But, I am grateful for the time at home. I'm back out at the barn several mornings a week riding a bunch of different horses. And I'm thankful that my parents are so supportive while I'm scrambling through this phase in my life.

In other news...the Penguins' season came to an end Friday night at the hands of the Boston Bruins. I'm disappointed and bitter. This Penguins team had so much talent and so much promise, but they couldn't follow through. In the end, they were out-coached and out-played. I was simply not ready to watch this team play their last game. With the number of free agents the Pens have heading into the offseason and the number of rookies ready for a shot at the NHL, they will be a very different team come October.

With regard to art: it's just not there for me right now. I want to be drawing and creating, but the drive and inspiration simply isn't there. My energy is focused on searching for research positions, drafting inquiry emails, and composing cover letters. I'm sure the art flow will begin again in time. For now, unfortunately, anything beyond sketches are on hold. However, I will still discuss commissions if anyone is interested. In fact, that might be just the thing to get me back on track with drawing again. As with other things, it often only takes a single spark.
  • Listening to: "One Sunday Morning" - Wilco
  • Reading: The Anatomy of Violence - Adrian Raine
  • Watching: Arrested Development

Some Reflections

Journal Entry: Thu Mar 21, 2013, 7:25 AM

Colgate was on spring break last week, and I spent much of the time reading and reflecting. I re-read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which is undeniably my favorite book. I identify so easily with Charlie--his emotionality, his compassion, and his way of seeing and understanding the world. Reading that book always realigns things for me and helps me recenter myself. I also read The Sense of an Ending, which had quite an unsettling conclusion without much of a sense of an ending. But that was probably the point. I am now deeply engrossed in The Catcher in the Rye. I love it. I feel like I'm reading it at an incredibly appropriate time in my life where I'm trying to figure out exactly who I am and what I'm doing.

I also spent some time thinking about who I am and who I want to be. I've felt more secure and confident lately, and I'm loving it. I still feel uncertain as to who I really am, but I think I know who I want to be, so I'm going to be striving to be that person all of the time. I'm sure most of the uncertainty is a consequence of the point I'm at in my life--the cross-roads, so to speak. I know the direction I would like my future to go, but if it actually goes that way at this time is not entirely in my control. And that lack of control over every aspect of my life is something I desperately need to learn to accept. So that's the next stage for me in this whole project of figuring out what life's about.

I hope you all are doing well and finding joy in both the great and small things :heart:

  • Listening to: "Poetry & Aeroplanes" - Teitur
  • Reading: The Cather in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
  • Watching: NHL Hockey

In Need of New Music

Journal Entry: Wed Mar 6, 2013, 2:35 PM

I love music. I always have some beloved album playing in my apartment or at work. But, there's been a lack of good new music releases so far this year, and I'm craving something new to listen to. I tend toward the indie/alternative/rock genre that includes bands such as Keane, Stars, DCFC, The Decemberists, The Shins, The Lumineers, Ed Sheeran, The Weepies, Young the Giant, Lights, Lykke Li, Fitz and the Tantrums, and a whole host of others. I enjoy powerful music and well-written lyrics. So, if you have a favorite band or artist that you'd like to share, please do!

  • Listening to: "It's Only Life" - The Shins
  • Reading: A Novel Bookstore - Laurence Cosse
  • Watching: NHL Hockey