The Horse-Shaped Hole

It's been five years since I've owned a horse, and I've felt that absence, like a part of me isn't quite whole. Initially, I had planned to start looking for a horse after my first semester of grad school so that I could get comfortable with my schedule. But I can't wait that long. I know what I can spend and set my budget. The trainer I've been riding for this past year knows what I'm looking for, and I trust him to help me find the right match. 

When I sold Azteca, I had hoped to buy him back when I was ready to own a horse again. I went through an actual mourning period after selling him, and I think I've finally come out of that this past year. I've ridden dozens of different horses and don't feel the loss of Azteca as much as I miss the loss of the partnership. To me, this signifies that I'm ready to own again. I'm in a financially secure situation, have a plan that will ensure financial stability, and will be in one place for the next five years. I'll always be able to come up with excuses--it's a lot of money...I have to move for my internship...I'm getting married...I'm going to have kids...--But I can't listen to that anymore. Waiting until the "opportune time" will be a waste of time. However many years I wait, those years will pass anyway, and I'd rather they pass with an equine companion.

I need this. I need the horse, the competition, the partnership. This is a big decision, and it's the right decision. It's time to bring another horse into my life